This week I celebrated my 28th year of Life without alcohol or drugs. Sobriety has been my second chance to choose to live daily ~ present, responsible, and free.
An invitation also arrived this week to celebrate Louise Hay’s 90th birthday October 8th, in San Diego. This is one Life Celebration I won’t miss. Being introduced to her courage, light and love in the early 80’s forever changed me and my Life.
Life is meant to to be enjoyed and the real gifts come to us every day without asking. To be able to just receive and enjoy the experience is truly the intention of the giver, Mother Earth.
The month of May is considered to be the last month of spring. It carries the expression of possibility. For me, May is the month when I acknowledge the biggest anniversaries of my Life.
“SIMPLE DISCIPLINES REPEATED OVER TIME WILL CREATE SUCCESS, WHILE, SIMPLE MISTAKES REPEATED OVER TIME WILL CREATE FAILURE.”
Recently, I started a cleanse to help me realign with my mindful eating. It took me six months to become willing to be present and honest with myself. I know what supports my body and I know that sugar and caffeine are just empty place holders.
Why then do I allow myself to get so far off course?
Losing my positive focus and direction doesn’t happen over night. I get there as an incremental manifestation of my choices over time. It is the The Slight Edge.
When I fall out of my routine, I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. I beat myself up for feeling this way and judge myself for not Being centered. This may sound silly yet those negative critical messages have the power to weave up to choke my daily well being. They eventually demand my undivided attention.
If I am feeling especially vulnerable and stressed out I give in to my need to escape or hide. What I am really running from is my feeling of fear and my need to be certain.
This is an old pattern of mine. I look outside myself for the perfect solution to make me feel better and to “help me cope”. It’s my need for emotional comfort that directs my desperate choice to seek a quick fix.
Before May 19,1988 I filled my emotional holes by obsessing with alcohol and cocaine. In early sobriety my sponsor once asked me if I wanted a bat to make my regular beatings easier for me. That question along with its’ image has served me many times over the years. It is such a visual cue.
As with any quick fix for a while the drugs appeared to provide immediate relief. Yet the quieting of my punishing thoughts was only temporary.
How do I get to where I can shift the tides of my focus and climb out of the ruts I’ve built for myself?
Well, it takes what it takes! When I am sick and tired of being sick and tired I am ready to make a change. I let go of looking outside of myself for answers. I become willing to believe that I deserve to feel better and be happy.
I make a decision to take responsibility for myself and the quality of my Life.
The first step to making any change is to become aware and accepting of “what is” in the present. I choose to let go of resisting and judging myself… just for now.
I remind myself that I am only human and it is our nature to make mistakes. That’s how we learn. I reframe the language I use and recognize the that negative messages I hear ~ are from the past.
When I let go of holding on to what I don’t want, I create a space within me that is open and receptive. In this present moment I am connected with my Highest Self and my inner wisdom.
And it is here… where I can hear ... my answers to what’s next?
What are you ready to change so you can be free of needing to flog yourself?
Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee.
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.”
How did April Fool’s Day get established? There are two basic explanations…
One is that April 1st was a celebration of the season’s shift from Winter to Spring. The other was the adoption of a new calendar requested by Pope George VIII to move New Year’s Day from April 1st to January 1st.
Perhaps our international collective perpetuates the celebration of this day. It supports mischief and playfulness while granting immunity from reprimand by authority.
I remember pulling pranks and tricking others as a kid. Short sheeting a bed, pushing someones nose to smell the ice cream or relaying a story that was sensationally untrue. These little antics seemed harmless enough… yet now I am not so sure.
Fool is a word that can be used as both noun and verb. There are 88 other nouns for fool in my Thesaurus. Nitwit, chump, numbskull are just a few. All of them are some variation of derogatory.
Using the term fool as a verb demonstrates actions taken to deceive, trick, mislead or dupe. Deluding another, interfering, cheating, pretending, faking and swindling are all fooling activities.
There’s a memory I have of one kid hurting his back when another pulled his chair away just as he sat down. Or the time when some older kids tricked another into “looking foolish” and how we all laughed at his misery. Even the kid that was made a fool of laughed.
Nobody really likes to be acknowledged as a person who acts unwisely or is duped. No one truly enjoys feeling embarrassed or mocked. These days it seems that the fooling has morphed into a source of harassment or bullying.
Even the smallest sarcasm used in our every day fooling around can be a form of ridicule or mockery.
Ultimately in the end the joke is always on us. What we do onto others, we do onto ourselves!
Today let’s make a decision to bring the fun and playfulness back into our celebration of April Fool’s Day. Let’s agree to be mindful of others feelings and to be conscious of our intention.
Happy April Fool’s Day.
How could you play an April Fool’s joke that gives someone a loving benefit as a result?
“Nothing builds self-esteem & self-confidence like accomplishment.”
Most of us massively produce all day long. We complete multiple tasks & manage to juggle our endless responsibilities. We continuously revise our schedules in an effort to make progress at attaining our goals.
We’ve become masters on the path of human doing-ness and cleverly strive to squeeze into each moment ~ our best performance.
It is an intensive exercise of generating more and keeping up the pace.
Yet at the end of the day, despite what we might have accomplished, do any of us really celebrate ourselves for a job well done or a great day lived?
Accomplishment is not enough! For us to experience joy & fulfillment with ourselves and in our lives, we must develop a consistent practice of something else.
We must learn the art of acknowledgment. We must practice giving attention to and deeming value for “whatever it is” that we’ve accomplished.
Learning to slow down to assess the mini milestones of our lives is about choosing a direction for our focus. Could we recognize & praise ourselves rather than dismiss as unworthy?
Accomplishment alone does not change how we feel about ourselves & our capabilities. It is what we think & how we feel about our accomplishment that fuels our self esteem. It is this that empowers our trust and confidence to take the next right step.
What are three personal accomplishments you are now willing to acknowledge?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
