"It takes a lot of COURAGE to release the familiar
and seemingly secure to embrace the new,
but there is no security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting
for in movement, there is Life and in change, there is Power!"
~ Alex Cohen
Most of us can relate to something we are accustom to that has lost its appeal or element of satisfaction. We feel indifferent about it, ignore it, or even complain about it. Yet, the thought of making a change or trying something new sends us into a mini panic, or at the very least, out of our comfort zone.
Last week I took my Jeep Overland into AutoNation for a maintenance service appointment. The Overland is spacious, powerful, and luxurious. It has a unique feature that allows the entire vehicle to lower itself down to car height for ease in getting in and out. It was a perfect vehicle for transporting my Father and convenient for loading his walker, wheelchair or groceries. It is a solid, heavy vehicle that delivers a smooth, quiet ride. He loved it and with him, so did I.
Yet the past several months, I've had some different thoughts about my Jeep. While I'm grateful to have it, it doesn't fit in so well with trips to the barn, local jaunts, or in cramped parking lots. After celebrating my 60th birthday last year, I felt kind of old and sedate touring around in this big vehicle. And since my Father died, some of the very features that made this jeep so special to me, no longer have meaning or are important.
So while I waited at the dealership, John Urban, my favorite salesperson, gave me a closer look at the new Jeeps I'd noticed around town. They have a distinct new look; sportier and definitely cool.
John introduced me to the Jeep Trail Hawk and as we took it for a spin, something inside of me awakened. Though unfamiliar, I immediately appreciated the more rugged ride and connection to the road. This new "drive" tickled my fancy and released a dormant energy. This was FUN!
When circumstances are right for us, things progress and flow in a supportive manner. By late afternoon, feeling a bit timid yet excited, I drove my new Trail Hawk home.
I awoke the next morning feeling sick and disoriented and almost afraid to look in the garage. Sitting with Bryan at the kitchen table, I began to list the reasons for contemplating its return. After patiently listening to me justify my feelings, he asked me one simple question. "In one sentence, Jani, what is the specific reason you don't like the car?"
His question helped me to zero in on my thoughts and feelings. There wasn't anything I didn't like about the Trail Hawk. I hadn't had it long enough to even know how I felt about it. It was something else. I felt vulnerable. I felt insecure. And though this new path had called to me, I felt afraid and undeserving of this new freedom. There was a tug of remorse, almost regret, at having left my Overland behind.
A bit beside myself I decided to go to my office and let go of needing to make any decision for now. I allowed myself to just be with it, park it and get focused on my first appointment. A couple of times during the day I looked out over the parking lot from the third floor, just to check in on my new vehicle and to insure it was alright. It looked good out there.
As I walked out to the Jeep at the end of the day, I noticed a new energy in my step and an eager anticipation at driving it again. Snapping my seat belt, I knew my decision was made. There would be no turning back!
Indeed, that evening I experienced new excitement and enthusiasm as I sped around the lake in my sporty little Trail Hawk. I found myself smiling from ear to ear. In one ultimate moment, I celebrated my new sense of power ~when I joined Katy Perry at the top of my lungs, with "your gonna hear me ROAR...."
