Who I am NOT!

Every once in a while I need to be recharged, to be inspired a new, to reconnect with my tribe and to step out of the rat race and into the "human" one.

Spending five days in San Diego with Dr Robert Holden, his Coaching Success workshop, and being immersed in a loving conscious community, successfully accomplished all of that and more.

 Robert Holden was all about having "a conversation", posing challenging inquiries, and deliciously entertaining us. We welcomed new perspectives and refocused ourselves to a more engaging presence.

 So much of what Robert shared was familiar to me. I recognized the truth in his instruction and his stories. I was reminded of what I know, yet had forgotten. I felt encouraged to shed my coat of armor to don a cape of courage!

"Success....is knowing who you are." ~ Robert Holden
 

Knowing who we are is rediscovering our "unconditioned selves". It's about reconnecting with our real selves, our original potential, our spiritual essence, that true nature that existed before we identified ourselves by outer words and others' criteria.

 We mostly live our lives as our "learned selves" seeing the world through the perception lens of our self image. Our self image is a shadow of ourselves, our Ego, a conglomerate of how others have defined us, our acquired beliefs and our own self judgement.

 I thought about the ways I still limit myself and the occasional punishing language or messages of self-doubt that can surface. I thought about the way I feel every time I deny my intuitive voice and make choices and decisions that do not serve me. I thought about the times I get derailed from my goal and spiral off my path in distraction. Then I thought about how I feel whenever I'm aligned with my false self of . . .who I am not! 

And then Robert invited us to ask ourselves this question:

"What's it like to be me when I'm not playing the role?"

Partnering with the Reaper

"We don't beat 'The Reaper' by living longer.

We beat 'The Reaper' by living well and living fully."

         ~Professor, Randy Pausch

Years ago, I accompanied my Mother to a seminar on Death & Dying at the Arvada Methodist Church.  The two most remarkable breakout sessions were viewing Professor Randy Pausch's  "The Last Lecture"and a workshop where we were introduced to "Five Wishes".

Many of you might remember Randy Pausch, the professor , who after being diagnosed with terminal cancer, spent the last year of his Life focusing, compiling and sharing everything he believed about living ~ in his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon.

His lecture was entitled, " Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams". "It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, and of seizing every moment...(because 'time is all you have...and you may find one day that you have less than you think')" 
I remember two questions he posed that I believe are worthwhile for each of us to consider:

"What wisdom would we impart to the world 

if we knew it was our last chance?

 If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want 

as our legacy?"

"Five Wishes" offers us a structured format for documenting exactly how we want to be treated if we get seriously ill. Inspired by Jim Towey who worked with Mother Teresa for 12 years, "Five Wishes" has been called the first "living will with heart and soul".

 My Mother and I spent the day learning and discussing dying and death, what was most meaningful in our lives and what care or course of action we'd want if we became seriously ill.  Those real conversations and the sweet time we spent together, live on in my heart as a cherished memory.

 So in keeping with who she was, my Mother promptly completed her "Five Wishes" document and made sure we knew she stored it in the bookcase.  Ironically, it was what we turned to when she died suddenly, three years ago. 

We were able to go right to her wishes and carry them out without argument!  Her every detail, written out in her own hand, gave us some sort of comfort and direction.  And although we felt clearly robbed of more time with her, we celebrate the way she lived, reminding us each day, to be present with courage, curiosity, and compassion.

My intention in sharing this with you today is merely to catch your attention!  And perhaps to remind you to slow down... to consider what is truly important and valuable in your Life. I implore you to make conscious choices that honor who you really are and the contribution you make to others.

 As Professor Pausch reminded us in his last lecture,

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, 

just how we play the hand." 

It's your deal!

Below is a link to a sample of Five Wishes

http://www.agingwithdignity.org/forms/5wishes.pdf

A Gift of Perspective

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them 

is what makes life meaningful." - Joshua J. Marine

I took this photo of my sister Lynne to honor & celebrate her life.  Her birthday is in December, yet August 29th marked 9 years since a drunk driver catapulted her into a new life perspective. 

This past week,  she defied death once more when  her car was hit by a vehicle running a red light.  

Her car is totaled, by God's grace, she is not!

Then my friend of 55 years, whose husband is a vet, sent me an email with this familiar story. What a great reminder to be present for everyday life and to be appreciative and grateful for the seemingly little things. And to perhaps view and live life as seen through a child's eyes, or from a dog's perspective... 

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer.

I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure as they felt that Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him.

Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

 The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

 We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him.

What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?"

 The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them;
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride;
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy;
• Take naps;
• Stretch before rising;
• Run, romp, and play daily;
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you;
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do;
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass;
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree;
• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body;
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk;
• Be loyal;
• Never pretend to be something you're not;
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it;
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently;

There comes a time in life, when you choose to walk away from all the drama and people who create it.
 
You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right.
Think good thoughts for the ones who don't ~ life is too short to be anything but happy. 

Falling down is part of LIFE... Getting back up is LIVING...

and with a proper perspective, 

Life...is a gift!

Opportunity of Choice

I was flipping through one of my journals this week and found an entry I made March 1, 2012. During that time I traveled back and forth from Denver to Scottsdale quite a bit, spending time with my Dad and sharing in his care with my sisters.

Each plane trip offered me a transitional bridge between what felt like "my two lives". I relished flying by myself, as it was a designated time owned only by me. I've learned that whenever we are in a position of caregiver, the freedom to be alone with our thoughts, or the privilege of just sitting, offering nothing, is a rare and treasured reprieve.

"Sitting on the plane, ready to take off. It has been a congested, prolonged boarding. In my quiet observation, I noticed how we all have a choice- a choice on how to respond... (react or resist) - to the energy of this activity.

There are those passengers who demonstrate their impatience, irritation and judgment at the source of any delay. Some appear frustrated by conditions outside of their control. Still, others chat critically of the process and of the culprits they deem responsible for the problem. And there is the additional route taken by several passengers who freely focus on fueling their own energy to the upset 

Isn't an "opportunity of choice" presented at every juncture or human interaction?"

We make choices every moment of the day and regarding every aspect of our lives. Whether we are even conscious of the choices we make, is a choice in itself. Life is a continuous offering of events, relationships and situations. How we respond ~ determines and creates our personal life experience. We are free to choose to take responsibility for that, or not! 

Underlining every moment is our choice of attitude. As human beings, we have been given free will. It is our birthright to choose what we think, believe and how we respond to our world. We can even choose how we feel or what level of health we experience. Now that statement could activate a few of us!

Our opportunity of choice spans our decision to become aware, as well as, our choice to remain ignorant. We can choose to be:

• kind or inconsiderate
• generous or greedy
• complimentary or critical
• engaged or unattached
• fair or unjust
• energetic or lethargic
• loving or cruel

Viewing our lives as an "opportunity of choice" can be empowering. It can also be a bit unsettling to recognize it is our every decision that paints the canvas of our lives.

In the margin of my journal entry I'd written one of the quotes I like from Jim Rohn, "Indecision is the theft of opportunity"

It reminded me of a little parable I'd heard years ago.

"Not to decide, is to decide!"

Hum...Sounds to me like another "opportunity of choice"!

The Art of Extreme Self Care

I met Cheryl Richardson at a magical event in Tucson AZ. She had partnered up with Louise Hay, both in coauthoring their book, You Can Create An Exceptional Life and in facilitating our women's retreat sharing the same message. 

The loving banter and flow between Cheryl and Louise created a supportive and fun environment. They encouraged us to examine our beliefs, behavior patterns, and attitudes in our thinking. They inspired us to entertain new and limitless possibilities for enhancing the quality of our lives.

 At the time of this retreat, I was fully immeshed in sharing with my two sisters, the care for our ill and grieving Father. "Taking care of myself" was a vague concept as I juggled living three different places and struggled to maintain some sense of personal balance. I was still reeling from my Mother's death a year and a half earlier, and felt lost, alone and empty.

 So when Cheryl Richardson introduced her new book, The Art of Extreme Self Care, Transform Your Life One month at a Time, I was intrigued.

 As women, we are accustomed to multi-tasking and demonstrating by our actions, whose needs we value most. Although we might have our hair or nails done, make it to our annual doctor's appointments, or squeeze exercise into our over extended schedules; we generally have limited experience with focusing on truly caring for ourselves!

We deprive ourselves, act on "yes' when we really mean "no", care for others to the extent we neglect ourselves, hide behind obligation or fear of rejection, sometimes martyr ourselves and erode our self-esteem by tolerating other's inappropriate behavior.

Cheryl Richardson's The Art of Extreme Self-Care, Transform Your Life One Month at a Time, is a life-changing handbook that offers us 12 strategies to transform our lives, one month at a time. She designed it as a practical, action-oriented program, with each chapter challenging us to alter one behavior that keeps us separate from the rich, rewarding lives we are meant to live.

Although this book certainly can be read and practiced alone, I know most of us are more likely to embrace something new with the support and encouragement of others. In creating this workshop and tele course, I utilized Cheryl's book as our foundation, added my own insights, experiences and exercises, and included a monthly 60 minute coaching session to provide you personal support.

 "The practice of Extreme Self-Care forces us to make choices and decisions

that honor and reflect the true nature of our soul."

~ Cheryl Richardson

This Art of Extreme Self-Care program will inspire you to dismantle your self-sabotaging behavior and empower you ~ to focus on making creative and necessary changes ~ that daily support loving and caring for yourself.

Learn more and register now to join us!