Reviving My Dreams

Reviving My Dreams

My dreams are waiting for me to come true.
— Temple Hayes

What? Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound right. My dreams are waiting for Me to come true?  Oh…NOW I get it.

This past year, I have been visiting my creative self from a critical, perhaps untrusting place. Turning 65 in May somehow jinxed my appreciation for all that I have accomplished and more specifically, hindered my faith in my ability to create more!

I was asked in a coaching session, what accomplishments must happen so I consider my Life to have been satisfying and well-lived?

Easily the milestones of my 31 years of sobriety, motherhood, and publishing my first book -flowed up in response. What I valued next was providing for my family, showing up daily with integrity, traveling and experiencing other cultures, practicing with myself and others -forgiveness and love.

But it was the next question I was asked that really stumped me.

What secret ambition, desire or dream do I fantasize about?

My mind went blank. I searched for an answer and came up with nothing. Hum…apparently I hadn’t fantasized in a very long time. And as I looked at that void in my Life, I realized I’d missed out on all the natural joy that comes with it.

Most of my Life I’ve imagined how I’d like the next decade or phase of my Life to look. My dreams generally presented with intuitive clarity and I set goals to move forward in my chosen direction. Somewhere in my mid 50’s, my clearly defined path became obscure and disjointed. Not in a bad way, just uncharted, unfamiliar, I felt ignorant to the new possibilities.

Do you remember a time (the 70’s perhaps?) when folks who were “reborn” talked about finding God? I always enjoyed hearing the cheeky response, Oh? I didn’t know God was lost!

Similarly, it was not my dreams that were lost, but my connection to my intuition and focus. As I thought about the dreams that were waiting for me, a slow internal smile warmed through my heart.

Of course my dreams wait for me. They’re my dreams! They belong to me and are of my own creation. My dreams wait for me- ever so patiently- to imagine, to align vibrationally, and to take responsible action to manifest them!

My dreams are the parts of me I have yet to express to the outside world.

I sat with this awareness for a bit. I traveled back through the year to discover that I had been fantasizing all along- it just looked and felt different than before.

My ambitions, desires, and dreams have actually evolved into 3 categories, a kind of triangular foundation for self expression:

🕉 Personal Self Care

I returned to Nick’s Pro Fitness after an 8 year hiatus since my Mother died. Nick Kapande still inspires and motivates me to stay aligned with my personal integrity and self-discipline.

In just 3 weeks, my physical, mental, and emotional health have been rejuvenated. I’m enjoying a renewed sense of belonging and connection. And most importantly, I feel really good about myself and my health!

 

☯️ Cultivate Quality Relationships

One thing I learned from my nasty fall in June, is that my new equine partner Milo, speaks a whole different language than the one I knew with Peanut Butter. Our initial bond remains strong and true. Yet now I realize the value of learning together- the rhythm and dance of a new relationship.

I reconnected with Tanya Buck, my original trainer, riding coach, and long time friend. With Tanya to help show us the way, I trust Milo and I are in for a beautiful journey together.

☸️ My Professional Contribution

Three years ago I closed my business office and classroom. I wrote my Celebrate! book and blogs from home. I traveled to meet with my coaching clients at the library, in conference rooms, back tables at restaurants, while hiking outdoors, and in their private homes. It all worked well until it didn’t. 

I acknowledged my deep desire for my own creative, quiet, space.

I believed I deserved to have it. I gave myself permission and honored my decision by taking action.

And just like that, my new perfect office surfaced! It has space for small groups, coaching, and even a writing nook. It’s within walking distance from home and preserves the old Evergreen energy and charm that I have treasured for over 39 years. Already my enthusiasm and creativity are reignited and I haven’t even moved in! 

PONDER THIS 

What action could you take to honor a dream that you fantasize about?

Downward Facing Horse

Downward Facing Horse

Determination gives you the resolve to keep going
in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you.
— Denis Waitley

My new horse Milo has many wonderful qualities. He has a gentle pleasing nature, is sweet and laid back. Unless of course he’s hungry, which he seems to be much of the time. Then he is extremely motivated and driven by his quest for food.

He develops a fierce determination to procure his next snack. Milo can sniff out treats from across the paddock and will contort his body beyond comprehension just to reach a tasty blade of grass.

Nothing that stands in his way appears to break his determination or shrink his enthusiasm for the worthy prize he seeks.

Although I may feel a bit uneasy while observing his antics, I do appreciate his focus and perseverance. I’d like to get after him while at the same time, he amuses me with the relentless clarity of his mission.

And then I ask myself, where and when in my Life have I been so determined?

Determination can be defined as firmness of purpose, a solid commitment.

What have I desired so deeply that my efforts never wavered even as boulder-sized challenges loomed on my path?

I believe whatever success we have in “staying our course”, comes from acknowledging with absolute clarity ~ what we truly want.  

Over 30 years ago, I knew I wanted my Life to change. I knew I wanted to end my suffering. I wanted to be free from the insanity of drinking and drugging to cope with my feelings, to cope with my Life!

Thru an intervention and with a surrendered heart, I found my way to Alcoholics Anonymous, to the Big Book, the Steps, and to the fellowship.

From Chapter 5 HOW IT WORKS - rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path…. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps…

Just as Milo greets each day with renewed efforts to reach those grassy patches, I focus daily on making choices and taking action that honors my commitment to live happy, joyous, and free.

PONDER THIS:

 Where in your Life does your determination reward you with what you want?


Be Here Now

be here.jpg

BE HERE NOW

Ram Dass

‘NOW’ is where you get to leave your ego behind
and meet your whole Self
— Robert Holden

It’s been several weeks since I took a nasty fall from my new horse Milo. We were riding out on the road when Milo spooked at our neighbor as he rounded the fence with his lawn mower. Although the accident seemed spontaneous, when I relive it from my heart-sight, it plays out in sequential slow motion.

After six hours at the ER the x-rays and CAT-scan confirmed closed fractures of my lumbar 1, 2, & 3 vertebra, a rib fracture, and of course, multiple abrasions.

The most obvious gift from this experience has been the reminder to Be Here Now, to live in the present moment, to be conscious and accepting of Life as it is!

This is what I learned about grace and healing…

Gratitude can ground me from moment to moment and allow me to experience physical pain without resisting it. Gratitude gives me permission to feel my other feelings, including the deep sadness I felt for the first 3 days. Gratitude reminds me to keep my focus on healing and acknowledge the progress I make each day.

Empathy and compassion encourage me to be kind, loving, and accepting. They allow me to be free from my need to blame or feel sorry for myself. Empathy and compassion connect me with others who struggle too, with a personal set back, a chronic illness, or an overwhelming challenge.

Self-Care becomes the sole priority in order to function and get through the day. It teaches me that listening to what my body needs is the only important voice in my head. Beyond my imagination, self-care dispels my fear and manifests healing miracles.

My judgement fell away and took with it, my need to define myself by my accomplishments. The stress I create to keep up and to perform, dissolved. I released the focus I had on competing for outside attention.

When I let go of fueling my critical monkey mind, a new appreciation surfaced- a deep more loving connection with my whole self.

Living consciously transcends me and my awareness to a different plane. Time dances with a new rhythm. In the present, I could allow myself to honor my objective observer. I witness in awe, the power my body has to heal itself!

I’ve learned that pain is the great leveler. It abruptly slices through our reality and rattles our perception. It eliminates our preoccupation with the past and annihilates any value we might give to future thinking.

Pain can shatter dreams while offering clarity and connection. It can humbly bring us to our knees and at the same time - direct us to find a new way home…

Today I am happy to share that I feel strong and healthy. I know now, how to proceed with training and developing my relationship with Milo.

I trust my body to continue to mend those physical and emotional parts of me that were wounded. I remain committed to living in a state of gratitude. I practice empathy and compassion with myself (first), and with others.

And Self-care? It is just that!

Self-care means nurturing the connection we have with our inner wisdom and that still small voice that is forever untouched and unlimited in the now!   

PONDER THIS:

What have you experienced where pain shattered a dream yet brought you clarity and connection?

 

 

Shine On Sister

Shine On Sister

There is nothing so powerful as a woman who knows her worth
and revels in the wild magic that glows within her.
— Denise Linn

In yoga practice, Allan invited us to listen for our intention. I centered joyfully to repeat my mantra:  I flow freely without judgement…

I experienced a deep sense of contentment as the energy of my body clearly aligned with my mantra. I flow freely without judgement…

 In my Life there have been many moments where I have flowed freely. And over the years there have been times, perhaps not as often, when I truly experienced Life without judging myself or others.

 So to root down deeply in the flow of Life, void of any lingering sense of judgement, is a true freedom worth celebrating!

 My focus word for 2019 is “expansion.” The past four months, I’ve been diligently honest, open-minded and willing to actively embrace whatever Life has offered me in support of that.

 My expansion started in January with the 4th annual Women Creating Our Futures conference held in Lone Tree Colorado. After three years of looking at it and wanting to go, I went his year. Inspired and motivated, I committed to an intensive weekly MasterMind for the next three months.

It was a valuable transformational journey led by two inspiring, authentic, passionate women, Cynthia James and Jean Hendry. The exercises were stimulating and extremely challenging. The camaraderie of the group further supported me in clarifying what is truly important to me in my Life.

I learned to acknowledge and honor my own brilliance, my “spirit spark” and to reinvest in my unique contribution!

I learned choosing to grow can be the ultimate adventure when you travel with trusted leaders and a safe sacred tribe.

What I want you to know is by being willing and committed to examine my Life, to ask myself the really hard questions, and to shine outside the parameters of my conditioning, I am able to flow freely without judgement. I am free to celebrate my Life! 

And I know this to be true for all of us…

My Brilliance Statement

I am a spiritual Being courageously, enthusiastically, illuminating
Beauty, Joy, and Love in the world!

 by Being a loyal playful friend,
a fair assertive leader,
an inspiring authentic teacher, and
an intuitive, compassionate, empathetic coach,

 I empower others to reconnect with themselves
and to Celebrate their Life!

NATURE’S LIFE SUPPORT

NATURE’S LIFE SUPPORT

There is a force in the Universe, which if we
permit it,
will flow through us and produce
miraculous results.
— Ghandi

Yesterday I took my daughter’s dog, Ali May, out for a walk in the woods. It was a bit nippy yet the promise of Spring shown through the breaks in the tree cover and welcomed us as we found a path, mostly free of snow…

As is true every time I intentionally connect with nature, my body felt strong and healthy, my senses were alert and my heart opened to take it all in.

As we picked our way through fallen tree branches and still snowy and icy patches, my breath deepened and my outside thoughts… quieted.

 The woods have a vibrational rhythm of their own. 

The aroma of the wet earth filled my nostrils with a delicious mix of soggy pine needles and new undergrowth. It made my mouth water.

The deer herd was gracious and trusting as we moved quietly along their Winter paths, careful to leave as little imprint as possible.

Ali and I paused often to breathe in our surroundings. We observed how the ground squirrels flitted about with their usual enthusiasm, excited for a new day of adventure.

The birds kept watch over us, the Ravens squawking when we approached and others singing to us sweetly as we made our way.

We stopped in surprise as several geese flew overhead repeating their powerful woohoov, woohoov sound with their wings.

Everywhere I looked Winter’s dormant world was awakening with the birth of new Life and movement. This shift was embraced and accepted naturally without judgement or restraint. I thought about how we, like Nature, follow the cycle of the seasons as well.

I reflected upon my Winter hibernation. Feeling safe and sheltered from the cold and dark, I had hunkered down in my introspection. When I let go of my resistance, I could see the parts of me that had served their purpose.

I experienced the dying off and the passing of an old season within.

Ali and I stood at a fork in the trees. She was content to sniff an interesting stump while I paused to breathe and reflect upon which direction to take.

Then I started to laugh! I couldn’t contain myself! My joy-full heart and this fork in our path reminded me of a Universal truth.

We are always free to choose the direction we take in Life. Every fork we encounter offers options for us to consider. When we listen with our heart, our highest way is always revealed, often as clearly, as the cadence of our step.

PONDER THIS:

What part of you does Nature support you to reveal?